by faith

What am I learning? How can I take this and become better with it? I am always praying that God would give me the strength I need to step out in faith, because as Christians obedience is the only way to get to the next level. In my obedience I draw near to the Lord... because when I think about it, putting my complete trust in Him is my demise. It is my surrender to His will and His purposes.

I'm not sure why I'm here. Well...I know why I wanted to come here - to get away, to learn new things, to discovery the acts of God on my own and to grab a hold of them. But what does God want for me here? How is He going to use this time? I am in a place in my life where I feel like I'm not going anywhere... and I thought being here would send me somewhere. What I'm finding is a church with a mild prosperity foundation, very driven towards becoming more edgy and up-and-coming. The people here are wonderful... the ministry here is flourishing. Yet I worry the gospel is being lost in it all.

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Hebrews 11... it's about faith. About people who did not necessarily see the promises of God fulfilled in their own lives, but obeyed the Lord in His calling anyway. What amazes me is the first part of Hebrews 11:13 - "All these people were still living by faith when they died".

Seriously? It's not fair! God has us do all the hard work, and we don't even get to enjoy the fruits of our labor? What is THIS about??

See... the thing is that God didn't need them; He could have used someone else. Some of these people knew this and therefore jumped at the chance to be used by God. They were humbled in their weakness - and because of that God was glorified. And isn't what that's all about? When we get down to the core of things... having a relationship with Christ and showing other people Jesus' love is not about playing flashy videos and preaching happy-sappy sermons about how all we need to do is this, this, and this, and our lives will be great... it's not about socializing with our friends and drinking free coffee and having a great worship band... it's the GOSPEL! It's the glory of God!

So why do I get caught up in me, me me? Why am I so absorbed in what I'm missing out on or impressing other people or complaining about how bored I am? I shouldn't even be here. I don't DESERVE to be here. I don't deserve anything. It all belongs to God. It's all because of Him. Who cares about me, seriously? I am nothing. Christ is all, and is in all.

"They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

"These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."