people

I think a lot about how there are millions of things happening all over the world at this very moment. And how just for once I would want to get a glimpse at all of them at once. Wow.

I think about people a lot, and how there are so many of them. A lot of names, faces, personalities, and stories. Stories about what have made them who they are.

In Iowa at a writer's workshop I went to a couple of summers ago, one of our assignments was to venture out into downtown Iowa City, where a ton people would be sitting or walking about, and ask them personal questions about moments in their life that defined who they are today.

The prospect of this assignment made me nervous, because a lot of times you think of people as being very private, not wanting to stay and talk much so they can continue about their business. I thought we would be just another obstacle in their day.

But it turned out not as I expected - my partner and I interviewed an older woman - probably in her late forties or fifties - who had just recently met her father for the first time. And the woman beside her, from the time she was a little girl, had these "psychic visions" and supernatural occurrences happen to her. I was astounded that these ladies were actually opening up to us - complete strangers!

It just goes to show that people are looking for someone to reach out to them. They want to tell you their story...they want to be loved. I think about this as I think about the students at FOS that I am trying to minister to. And for me it's a challenge because a lot of the time you have to be real with them before they will be real with you.

People want to be known. Even though often times we get afraid to let someone come to close. I think that the human condition, overall, longs for intimacy. And we as Christians know that true intimacy comes from a relationship with Christ. But for now we must show the people around us our own feeble version of it so that, perhaps, they will search for something more and find Jesus.

red eyes

Monday Night Football is of the devil. Especially when it is preventing you from watching Chuck. A VERY crucial episode, I might add. Turns out Jill is a rogue CIA agent. Last we heard her and Chuck had run off somewhere together. If she does anything to hurt Chuck I'll kill her. No, seriously.

Bloggish might as well be a mood, because lately I have not been in it...if that makes any sense. In other words, I have not been feeling "bloggish". One of the tendencies I see in myself is shying away from whatever people start picking up on. After everyone got a blog - I got sick of mine. Also, I'm not a huge Mac fan, and I think that Twilight (the book, and probably the movie) is ridiculous. I'm taking one of my students to see it this weekend JUST so we can make fun of it. I don't HATE Mac's, and I don't HATE Twilight, and obviously I don't HATE blogging...it's just this thing that I do. I'm not a very opinionated person, really. You might even call me uncaring at times.

I'm also not really in to finishing this blog properly. Probably because I have an episode of Chuck waiting for me. And my eyes hurt.

the office.

It's amazing what a new Office episode will do to your life. Or, my life, to be more specific.

For one - it brought me and some of my favorite friends together for a good time and some hard laughs. Not to mention the amazing food, courtesy of my mother (whoot whoot), and Costco. 

I could go over every detail and say what was good and what was bad (ahem...cough) but to be honest with you I have a deep, unconditional love for this show...so the minor flaws do not sway me, nor do I consider them too significant to pay much attention to.

Having said that, I do disapprove of Angela and her ridiculous-ness...and even though Andy is, for the most part, intolerable to any human with good taste, you gotta hand it to him for being a sucker. Pure and simple. Observe:

Andy: I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things.
Angela: It's not my problem. 
Andy: Thousand-year-old church in the continental United States. There has to be a rainbow. 24-hour veterinarian on call.

Angela: That is very important to me, so -- I have work to do. Just do it. 
Andy: Sweetheart....just so you know, I don't care where we get married. I'll marry you right here in this building. I'll marry you in the parking lot. I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane in the middle of a snowstorm on top of a monsoon. All I care about is that we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together.

And for heaven's sake, Michael. Ask Holly out already. She's amazing. 

As far as Jim and Pam goes...I got a little scared for a second. I mean...she's away for three months at school, cute, funny guys lurking behind every corner...and look! A scandalous scene where she is flirting with one of her classmates. Luckily my fears were suppressed when Jim Halpert invites her to lunch at a gas station "half way" between the two of them. And then in the midst of her standing in the rain complaining about how she had to drive farther than he did she is shut up by his sudden proposal! Ask anybody who was there, I screamed, I laughed, I cried. Well, for the most part that's true. 

And yes, I do agree that the engagement seemed to happen quick. But I will predict for you that the writers were intentional in doing this. Something is going to happen in the midst of her being away....duh duh dum.....

For a random side note, some of my favorite Dwight moments:

Dwight: Fax this for me.
Jim: Come on, man. She goes to New York in like 10 minutes.
Dwight: It's not gonna take her 10 minutes to fax it, Jim. (to Pam) If I don't see you again, goodbye. Well, actually, I'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation, so never mind.

Holly: Hey, could I have a rain check on the mini-golf. I, uh, actually have a date tonight.
Michael: Uh...
Holly: It'll probably be a total disaster, but...
Michael: Um, I think you'll have fun. Men from Scranton are handsome, and they know how to show a woman a good time.
Dwight: Not that guy who murdered his mother. He was not so handsome. Also Kevin.

Dwight: Attention! Attention! We only have a few weeks left. (looking at Phyllis) And most of you are just as fat as the day we began.
Jim: How much weight have you lost, Dwight?
Dwight: I am hardly the problem, Jim.
Jim: No, you're definitely the problem.
Dwight: This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna randomly select three names and these three people will get liposuction. Uhhhhh Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. And you will be responsible for your own medical bills.

Phyllis: There was no client. Dwight drove me to an abandoned warehouse five miles away and pushed me out of the car. I had to walk home with no money and no phone.
Dwight: And you burned over a thousand calories walking home. And this branch just got a little bit closer to winning the contest. Phyllis Vance, ladies and gentlemen! (claps)
Phyllis: You left me in a bad part of town!
Dwight: Yeah, I took your purse. What are you worried about? You look great. I can definitely see the difference. 

Haha...oh man. I love this show. And I think for the most part we don't give it enough credit. Because of that fact that there is no way of knowing what is planned for season five, we don't see the whole picture, and therefore may be frustrated with the small pieces that are being handed to us.

Be patient, friends. Something amazing is going to happen.

i was shocked

I mean, seriously? Who can't drive? People with ridiculous amounts of money, obviously.

Now I know why things never worked out for us. God was looking out for me...He knows I'm high maintenance. Also that I would suffer low self esteem by being with a guy who dresses better than I do.

Although check out Nick's top hat. That's pretty gay.

the day has come.

http://liveiteverywhere.blogspot.com

one missed flight.

I've never felt so helpless in my life.

I can't explain it - I mean, it's not a big deal. The guy got me on the same flight tomorrow morning, and waived the $75 fee. Most likely because my hysteria brought him to tears - thank you Jesus for female hormones.

But after being here for three weeks it just feels like it's time for home. Don't get me wrong - I've had a great time here. There's just something about home. And the built up anticipation of this day. Right now I am supposed to be on a direct flight from Miami to SeaTac...and I'm not.

Getting to the checkout line and hearing that it's too late was so devastating. And that seems kind of extreme, but it all seemed like a bad dream. I am sincerely hoping to wake up to the sound of my 5:30am alarm telling me it's time to get up - I've got a flight to catch.

I'll see most of you tomorrow night.

I miss you all very much.

by faith

What am I learning? How can I take this and become better with it? I am always praying that God would give me the strength I need to step out in faith, because as Christians obedience is the only way to get to the next level. In my obedience I draw near to the Lord... because when I think about it, putting my complete trust in Him is my demise. It is my surrender to His will and His purposes.

I'm not sure why I'm here. Well...I know why I wanted to come here - to get away, to learn new things, to discovery the acts of God on my own and to grab a hold of them. But what does God want for me here? How is He going to use this time? I am in a place in my life where I feel like I'm not going anywhere... and I thought being here would send me somewhere. What I'm finding is a church with a mild prosperity foundation, very driven towards becoming more edgy and up-and-coming. The people here are wonderful... the ministry here is flourishing. Yet I worry the gospel is being lost in it all.

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Hebrews 11... it's about faith. About people who did not necessarily see the promises of God fulfilled in their own lives, but obeyed the Lord in His calling anyway. What amazes me is the first part of Hebrews 11:13 - "All these people were still living by faith when they died".

Seriously? It's not fair! God has us do all the hard work, and we don't even get to enjoy the fruits of our labor? What is THIS about??

See... the thing is that God didn't need them; He could have used someone else. Some of these people knew this and therefore jumped at the chance to be used by God. They were humbled in their weakness - and because of that God was glorified. And isn't what that's all about? When we get down to the core of things... having a relationship with Christ and showing other people Jesus' love is not about playing flashy videos and preaching happy-sappy sermons about how all we need to do is this, this, and this, and our lives will be great... it's not about socializing with our friends and drinking free coffee and having a great worship band... it's the GOSPEL! It's the glory of God!

So why do I get caught up in me, me me? Why am I so absorbed in what I'm missing out on or impressing other people or complaining about how bored I am? I shouldn't even be here. I don't DESERVE to be here. I don't deserve anything. It all belongs to God. It's all because of Him. Who cares about me, seriously? I am nothing. Christ is all, and is in all.

"They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

"These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect."